Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Short Jokes
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?
The Hunger Games!
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
There was someone who slept late... he missed the dream!
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Marriage is really educational.
When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.
I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."
