Short jokes
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What's Mussolini's favorite food?
Fussolini!
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
"Ow! You hit the spot!"