What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
Short Jokes
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
"You is so black your mama fainted."
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
Uremn es abarancin yngnumma gety asuma qshi tun?
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.
