Short jokes

Short jokes

Dolphin

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

Sister

GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?

Me: My sister.

SWEET HOME ALABAMAA

Octopus

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

Knife

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

Disabled

Why do disabled people always get picked on?

Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

Japan

Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?

A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.

Gun

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

Queen

What do you call the longest reigning monarch?

The queen? No, she dead.