Short jokes
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Who left him hanging?
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.
9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.
They made a movie about 9/11.
It was a big hit.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!