Short jokes
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
The difference between George Floyd and Kobe Bryant is Kobe got air.
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
Why were her hands purple?
She heard it through the grapevine.
Why are the English so bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!
Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
What's Japan's favorite hot sauce?
Da Bomb.
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.