Short jokes
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
Replace the v in Venus with a p.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
qwertyuiol.
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?
France: Want a baguette?
USSR: Help!
Russia: "Silence."
Ukraine: Help...
What does the cent say when it says hello? It waves.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
What type of jam do aliens like?
Space Jam!