Short jokes
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
I am the danger.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
Your hairline is so bad that you have a humongous forehead.
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Dude, people gotta stop letting 9/11 jokes fly around like bro, you're gonna make my brain explode!
Two sentence horror stories go.
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.