Short jokes
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
If I get 50 likes on this, I swear. 🦋
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸
What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?
A gingerbread man.
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
What language do billboards speak?
Sign language.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Maggot.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
Why can't Mexicans cross the border? They always sneak powder in.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
What's the difference between white people and Africans?.... The white people get water.