Short jokes
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
Mike Oxlong: What's deez, Mike?
Mike Oxsmall: I dunno. What is deez?
Mike Oxlong: DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT 'EM!
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Draggin’.
Draggin’ who?
Draggin’ these balls around yo’ face.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."
Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"