Short jokes

Short jokes

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

Knock knock, who's there? God.

God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?

The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.