Short jokes

Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.

Orphans are stupid, am I right? Hehehehehehehehehehehe.

9/11 jokes just don't fly around me.

I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.

Usually I just use tissues.

Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!

My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.

What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?

You die of laughter.

What kind of book does cheese read at a church?

The Hole-y Bible.

My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.

Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.

I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."

I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.

For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.

Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.

Your hairline is so back it's not even a hairline cuz you're bald. LOL

The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.