Short jokes
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
I don't need a punchline. Karens are the only joke I need.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
asdf.
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
I became anti-furry because I don't want Doom Slayer after me.
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.