Short jokes
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
Your mama is so ugly even the trolls threw up.
You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
One like = more from me to you. 👊
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)