Short jokes

Short jokes

When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.

Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?

Because they never came home.

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."

Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?

A: "Those are two nice towers right there."

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.