Short jokes
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Connor Davison
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
My dad has a pretty shitty job.
Who needs parents to be great?
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What do you call a pole dancer?
A stripper.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
150,000$
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
It's not a joke.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?