Short jokes
Read my name.
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
The lines on the pride flag are straighter than me.
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
Speed.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.