Short jokes
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
You smell!
Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"
My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.
Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.
I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.
What kind of band never plays music?
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.