Short jokes
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?
A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.
How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
I never get off on the wrong foot.
I left my Avatar at home today.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.