Short jokes
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
Why do emo kids hate high fives?
They’re always left hanging.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
"I’m coming for you two!"