Short jokes
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
Joke Tide.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
Spell fuzz.
Okay, F-U-Z-Z, which also, it sounds like "F U Z's."
Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.
My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.
"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Hondo's dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a Hondo.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.