Short jokes
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
Your mama is so ugly even the trolls threw up.
You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.