Short jokes
"Julius Caesar" isneezer
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
What language do Asian Karen’s speak?
Demandarin.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Why do high tides come up so high?
Because they come up to say hi.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
Why is my pee green? Because, "NEIN, ITCH BIEN FIRST REICH!"
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!