Short jokes
My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
Freddy, Bonnie, Cheka, Foxy, and Balloon Boy FNAF.
You're so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, you broke the correction.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
Why do people consume "Laxatives"?
Answer: So that they can take a "Shit", STUPID!
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
1 like = 1 fetus donated to the soup kitchen.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
Your hairline receded just like your father did years ago.