Short jokes
My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?
Ohhh, an owner.
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
Nah, bruh, my hairline straighter than a gay person's.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
I would like to make a Minecraft joke...
It would be too plain.
What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?
The cowgirl.
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
Five more days.