Short jokes
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
Ironic that this page is dead.
Bomb.
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
Me when:
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."