Short jokes
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Scammers got relegated! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
Roses are red, get on your knees, and bark for me!
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.
You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.