Short jokes
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.
I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
What has four legs and works at McDonald's?
The remaining members of Nirvana.
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?
"Pop Goes the Weasel."
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
Why is the fat man roping himself to the side of a mountain?
So he doesn't roll back down!
What is Uludağ made from? Dog pee!
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.
What do you call a black couple who's on welfare and food stamps?
Lay-Z and Freeyonce.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!