Short jokes

What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?

Memorial Day.

Why?

Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.

I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.

She literally died a crazy bitch.

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!

Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.

A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”

Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.

I used to think all Americans were racist.

Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?

Because daddy never came back home with the milk.

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My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":

Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.

I should probably stop making abortion jokes.

After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.

Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.

Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.

Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?

Because all the other letters are not Z's.

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.

What is the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.