Short jokes
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
What is a pig's favorite part of karate?
A pork chop.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:
"I’m here for the new position?"
What kind of bee makes milk?
Boo Bees
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹
Why is 10 always scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
If you guys wanted to see a joke, just look in the mirror.
Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.
What's the best name for a prostitute?
SI-MOAN.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"
Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?
Keep away from me-hee-hee.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.