Short jokes

Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?

A: Jew-Osco

I'm like dynamite, you'll never know when I explode.

What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?

His head and shoulders.

What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.

I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.

Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.

The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.

What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can actually call home.

Did you hear about the TikTok post that offended disabled people? Some didn't reply because the comment section was disabled.

What do you call a bald person on fire?

A fried egg.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

Why can't Asians do word searches?

They can't see the words.

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?

Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:

Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.

What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?

An escapee from a mental hospital.