Short jokes
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
Why are theaters popular among cows?
They enjoy watching moovies.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.