Short jokes
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Knock knock. Who's there? Bad joke.
Jacob Wheet, if you don't understand, look it up.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
Question: What do you call 8 apples?
Answer: The iPhone 8.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!
You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.