Short jokes
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
This website hahahahahahaha!
A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.
What do you call a Twinkie with two pairs of pants?
Double trousers.
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Kill yourself!
Where did Sally go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
I'm serious, what's a "dad?"
What is a "dad?"
"Herro, I cannot see my eyes."
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.