Short jokes
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
Puns, that's how I roll.
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
Hellllllllloooooo
You wanna hear a joke? You.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?