Short jokes
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
Ya mums, ya dad.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.