Short jokes
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
Who do Chinese people name their kids?
Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.
My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.