Short jokes
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."
You are all going to be pun-ished!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
These aren't funny.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.