The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Short Jokes
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
We have been cursed by curse-ive.
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
modern feminism.
America.
A gay guy asked me for directions, so I told him to go straight.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
Cheesiest jokes.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
Hey, can you hold this for a second?
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
