Short jokes
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
This for you roman y e e e nt
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"
I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?
Don’t worry, he didn’t either.
When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.
What was the epileptic chef’s house special?
Seizure salad.
Sans