Short jokes

What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?

Hearing AIDS.

Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.

Cremation,

The last chance for a smoking hot body.

Yeah, not too bad at all, really.

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.

They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.

I put the D in Children.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?

BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON

What do retarded cops give tickets for?

Going over 45 in a potato zone.

Penis.

Two baby seals walk into a club.

How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, cause they'll screw anything.

How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.

Dracula was invited to a BBQ. He got stake.

I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.

What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?

Korn Flakes.

What makes suicide illegal?

Getting caught.

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley!

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.

I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!