Short jokes
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
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That camping trip was in-tents.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
Rust in peace.