Short jokes
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
Who is the smartest student in school?
The scholar.
Why didn't the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless.
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
3+3=****
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
What goes up and down but stays in the same place?
Stairs.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
Duck my sick.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.