Short jokes
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
This for you roman y e e e nt
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.