Short jokes
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
What hood do zombies come from?
Dead Ends.
I'm ticked off by this tick joke!
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
What's the most delicious city in the world? Hamburg.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.