Short jokes
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
If you hate America, I don't like you :)
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
How do you make Indians explode? Press the red button.
Steven Hawking was going to jerk off, nope. 😂
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.