Short jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
What is the one spray that can kill midgets? Bug spray.
Alec is bad at League?
Jokes, Jarid is, haha!
Gay guy?
Poo poo packed, lol.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Abortion is not a joke.
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.
Why does the Sun go to school?
You know bins????
They're trash!
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"
Do you get it? SEArch.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.