Short jokes
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
Are you Google?
Because you got all I am searching for.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
Did you sit in sugar?
Because you've got a sweet ass.
My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
Rowan
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.