Short jokes
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
T-Series.
Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
You want a joke? My entire existence.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
abcdef ghijklmnop qrstuv.
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.