Short jokes
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
BRUHS0UNDEFFECT!
Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
'Cause she will let it go.
Which mineral is so impolite?
IRONic.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.