Short jokes
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Wat?
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
What do you call three people in a dark room? A porno.