Short jokes
What language do people at the center of the Earth speak?
Core-an (Korean)
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
McDonald's :)
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
Friend: Eric, spell mouse.
Eric: M O U S.
Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
Why is Cinderella white?
Because she is superior.
What is the real name of Canada?
Punjabistan
If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
My dignity to live.
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
A gay couple actually goes to heaven. Turns out Jesus was a hypocrite.