Short jokes
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!
There was a chicken sitting on the bench. Then came another one. Then there were two.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?
NONCE
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.
Your Fortnite win rate.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
My wiener's small.
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
What did Yarn Yoshi say to Poochy whilst trying to solve a puzzle?
"Alright Poochy, it's time to get crafty!"
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
What do you call a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...