I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
Short Jokes
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
My pen is so strong, ladies, come and get it!
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
You can say what you want about deaf people...
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?
Leg day.
I am looking for Mike Roch.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Maybe I’ll be Tracer.
I’m already Tracer!
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
