What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
Short Jokes
He is dead.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
What skeleton does Crap-ton of?
A "bone".
My puns are awesome, pure gold.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Alia’s YouTube channel.
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
I LOVE BIG HAIRY DICKS!
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
