Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
Short Jokes
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
arya fae
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
What do you call a fruit's penis?
A percock.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
