Short jokes
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.
What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!