Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
Stan Lee walked into a school one day.
Just kidding, he's fuckin dead :(
What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Snow balls.