Short jokes
Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.
Bread?
Blueface baby!
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
You are a joke.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
A baby seal walked into a club.
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."