Short jokes
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
Terrance M.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
Let's tell a secret about each other... I'll go first.
I
hate
you!
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
qestrrrr.