Short jokes

😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"

Q: Why did the chip run away?

A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.

My d*ck is hard, what's your name?

My dick is hard, what's your name?

What room does a ghost not want to be in?

The living room.

Hi. Did sskskss sis askance ddodks sjissmsnsiam a sksddkddd mc?

Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?

Because it's on the burning side.

Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.

Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.

Why did Sellwood get named?

It is made of wood that got sold.

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."

I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)

-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!

-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?

One's a fucking tree.

There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom.

You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!

My wife was run over.

I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.

Son: Where's grandma?

How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.