Short jokes
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
What's wrong with my friend?
He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
If humanity were to nominate the gayest country in the world, it would be Tel Aviv, honestly.
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.