Short jokes
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
What's wrong with my friend?
He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
If humanity were to nominate the gayest country in the world, it would be Tel Aviv, honestly.
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.