Short jokes
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
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The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
Tell all the skeleton jokes you want, but I've got thick skin.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because its uncles were all aunts!
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.