Short jokes
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.
All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F.
She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half Black.
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."
You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly.
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.