Short jokes
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?