Short jokes

What does a queen want on her cookie?

Royal Icing.

where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.

Doin' ya mom oh yeah oh yeah, doin' doin' ya mom!

What did the female dog say to the mirror?

Hi, bitch!

Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!

Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?

Uranus is huge.

Boner.

Kenya believe it?

How did Stephen Hawking die?

His computer got a virus.

My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

Hello.

We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.

I am mis-steak.

Wanna see something dark?

Close your eyes.

Your mom gay.

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)